Ultimate Horror Villains Ranked

Okay, before we get started I want to get a few things straight. With the title of "Ultimate Horror Villain", some folks (or creatures, what have you) are bound to get left out in the cold. For instance, the trucker from "High Tension", the chick from "Audition", and the vampire from "Nosferatu" were obviously great characters. There are, however, certain criteria to even be considered in this challenge. These factors range from influence on the entire genre to originality to longevity. For these reasons, our five contestants are:

-Freddy Krueger: This razor-fingered, half-baked nightmare master was the star of the "Nightmare on Elm Street" franchise. Freddy spawned an original, six sequels, and one crossover film that pitted him against another of our finalists, Jason Voorhees. He was portrayed, quite capably, by Jackie Earle Hayley in the 2010 remake. That incarnation depicted a more realistic burn victim who lacked the "Joker"-like characteristics that had come to be associated with Freddy.

-Jason Voorhees: Jason is likely the member on this list to which things are most wrongly attributed. For instance, Jason was not the killer in the original "Friday the 13th" (this honor went to his mother, the creepy Pamela Voorhees). Also, Jason is always depicted as wearing a hockey mask even though he first donned this iconic disguise toward the end of "Friday the 13th Part III" (which was shot in 3-D). Lastly, most people think of Jason as always walking slowly, yet still catching his prey. The truth is that, during the first four films, Jason physically operated as a human being, running after his victims and visibly wincing at his own pain. Jason was part of ten "Friday the 13th" films and one crossover film previously mentioned, "Freddy vs. Jason" (which I contend that Jason won!!). This franchise also featured a lackluster remake of the original that was released in 2009. Interestingly, Jason was not the killer in two of the franchise's films. While it has been mentioned that his mother was the murderer in the original, "Friday the 13th part V: A New Beginning" featured a local paramedic named "Roy" who utilized the Voorhees legend to play out his true homicidal intentions. Incidentally, "Roy" was also killing to avenge his own half-retarded sons death.

-Leatherface: Ahhhh, what can be said about Leatherface. Firstly, the remakes and prequel don't count. Secondly, the entire series of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" films makes about as much sense as a hornet's nest doused in PCP. What we do know is that Leatherface's debut in 1974's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was absolutely terrifying. It could be argued that he is the grandfather of the rest on this list as he was the first chronologically. Leatherface featured in the original, three sequels, a shitty remake, and a shittier prequel.

-Michael Myers: Whoever knew that such a plain mask could be so chillingly effective. Michael Myers, star of the "Halloween" series, has the distinct privilege of being the only one on this list that was killed off, sat out an entire film, and was then brought back from the dead by popular demand. Michael was the original slasher, wielding mainly a large butcher knife. The true scares in the Halloween series occur when Michael subtly sneaks into the background of a shot, lurking nearby and ready at any time. Michael appeared in seven of eight "Halloween" films and a surprisingly decent remake by Rob Zombie in 2007 as well as Rob Zombie's "H2", an entirely original film.

-Pinhead: Who could forget this demonic, grinning porcupine from the "Hellraiser" series. Pinhead was a latecomer to this list as the first "Hellraiser" was released in 1987. He has, nevertheless, featured in all nine "Hellraiser" installments. The original was slated for a remake in 2011, but this has yet to materialize. Pinhead is more akin to Freddy Krueger than the rest of this list as neither are typical slashers and both have supernatural properties from the very start of their respective franchises.

Ranking: Each character was ranked on a scale of 1-5 (five being highest) in each of five categories: 1) appearance; 2) physicality and brutality; 3) motivation; 4) intelligence; and, 5) weapons. The leader in each category received five points, the second got four points, on down. Scores for all five categories were then added together for one final score. Each villain would, therefore, score somewhere between a "5" (low-end) and a "25" (high-end). Here goes!

Category 1: Appearance

Winner - Pinhead: With his spiked dome (literally) and black leather demonic S&M gear, Pinhead takes the prize for appearance. His creepy, form-fitting leather gown doesn't hurt his cause any. Pinhead receives bonus for the chilly condensation that seems to accompany his every word.

Runner-up - Freddy Krueger: This was actually a toss-up between Freddy and Leatherface, but Freddy is permanently scarred for all eternity and, therefore, has no need for a custom-made skin mask. Toss in Freddy's tattered fedora, red and green sweater, and his razor claws (which have to make for the coolest silhouette in film history) and Freddy edges out our chainsaw-wielding friend.

Third - Leatherface: Let's face it. We don't need to see Leatherface's, well, face. He is one ugly motherfucker. Loosely based on real-life serial killer Ed Gein, the combination of home-stitched, patchwork skin, a seriously misused power-tool, and an imposingly large figure set Leatherface ahead of the rest of the competition. His frantic mannerisms and unintelligible grunting (which actually hurt him in other areas of this competition) make him all the more menacing.

Fourth - Michael Myers: While simplicity can be beautiful and effective, a bleached-out William Shatner mask can only go so far. Michael's mask (and its attached hair) changed throughout the series, but his appearance was always very workmanlike and not very imaginative. That said, I'd still shit my pants if I saw him walking towards my front door. Is Haddonfield close to Belleville?

Last - Jason Voorhees: Another man in a mask brings up the rear in this category. Jason has actually spent a considerable time out of his mask in horror-movie terms. For the entire second movie he wore a bag on his head. He has shown his face in several of his films, and it isn't pretty. Incidentally, if I could just use Jason's transformation into Uber Jason in "Jason X", he might have won this category hands-down!

Category 2: Brutality and Physicality

Winner - Leatherface: Leatherface is a hulking brute. Not that others in this category haven't shown incredible displays of physical strength and prowess, but the prize goes to our gloriously cannibalistic hero for two reasons--first, Leatherface's ease in impaling a girl on a hanging meat hook in the first film. Secondly, the notorious "The Saw is Family" chainsaw from the third installment weighed eighty pounds. In real life. Eighty pounds. And he ran with it.

Runner-up - Michael Myers: Michael is known to have a penchant for lifting people up the wall with one hand, then pinning them to said wall with a butcher knife. There is little he cannot do strength-wise. Michael's only downfall in this category is that his strength is slow and measured, rather than the jerky, spastic, adrenaline-drenched strength of Leatherface. Still, it was a close call.

Third - Jason Voorhees: Jason is also know for his brute strength, but he falls behind Michael and Leatherface because he seemed to develop his physical strength throughout the course of the first four flicks. Jason was a human who became invincible as part of the storyline. Michael Myers was cold and dead behind his mask from the first "Halloween".

Fourth - Freddy Krueger: Freddy is obviously no match physically for any of the afore-mentioned maniacs. Nevertheless, Freddy possesses a unique psychological slant on his physical strength. For instance, he can uproot people and throw them around with no hands, but only during dreams. His use of that badass glove is what sets him above our loser in this category.

Last - Pinhead: This demon, while perhaps being the most frightening on the list, uses virtually no physical strength. Pinhead can make razor-sharp hooks on chains tear you apart without lifting a finger. But he doesn't even brandish a weapon, so he loses as far as strength goes.

Category 3: Motivation

Winner - Pinhead: Pinhead wants to kill you in the most painful way possible. Then he wants your soul and flesh so that he can make you experience the most pain possible for all eternity. Oh, and did I mention that some of Pinhead's most sadistic torture is psychological (see the fifth installment, "Hellraiser: Inferno")? He wins.

Runner-up - Leatherface: Motivation is a funny thing. You see, Pinhead won because of his extremely diabolical and deliberate motivation. Leatherface is runner-up due to his seeming lack of motivation, which can be just as scary. Apparently he's a cannibal. He worked in a slaughterhouse. So does he kill to eat? Or does he kill for sport? Or is it just what he does? Or is it just for your skin? See what I mean?

Third - Michael Myers: Michael wants to kill his family. Unless you count that lame-ass sixth film "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers", we don't really know why he's so hellbent on offing his kin. And why did he kill his sister when he was six? Michael's motivation, like that of Leatherface, seems to lack rhyme or reason. But he does have a method and will kill anyone who happens to get in his way. At least there, you'd have a chance. Well, maybe.

Fourth - Freddy Krueger: Freddy's motivation is good old-fashioned revenge. He was a child murderer who was released on a technicality. The good parents in his town got together for some vigilante justice and cornered him in a boiler room, burning him alive. Freddy vowed to take revenge on their children in their dreams. Then it seemed to evolve into all children in their dreams. Despite the absolutely ridiculous lapses of reason in the making of the numerous sequels, Freddy had a malicious plan for vengeance and enough creativity to propel him past Jason in this category.

Last - Jason Voorhees: Jason's motivation is also revenge, as was his mother's in the first film. Jason drowned in Crystal Lake as a young, half-retarded child because the counselors weren't paying attention. This prompted Jason's mother to come back and kill all the counselors in the first installment. At the end of this flick, Jason (who never really died) witnessed his mother's beheading and decided to take revenge on all future counselors. Jason falls to the bottom of this category as his sense of vengeance is so unfocused. He's still a great slasher, though.

Category 4: Intelligence

Winner - Freddy Krueger: Freddy's intelligence is precisely what makes him so scary. Pinhead promises to find "the things that make you whimper"--Freddy already knows what they are. And Freddy's smarts give him tons of creativity in exacting his revenge upon the children of Elm Street. In addition, the process of creating Freddy's character was extremely dynamic and intelligent. Freddy is not just the boogeyman, he is a villain of the Jungian archetypal variety that transcends cultural barriers.

Runner-up - Pinhead: Pinhead takes an easy second in this category as he is such a cerebral demon. Pinhead's use of psychological terror matches his penchant for brutality. Anyone who remembers the famous line "Jesus wept." can attest to that.

Third - Michael Myers: Michael's mayhem has an intelligent design. He is looking for his family and nothing is going to stop him. Michael shows resourcefulness in breaking out of the hospital, stealing cars, driving, and so on. While he appears to be mindless, he actually has a singleness of purpose that pretty much keeps him on-track.

Fourth - Jason Voorhees: Sure, Jason was a half-retarded child. Sure, he grew up by himself in the woods with no schooling. But this is exactly why he bests Leatherface in this category. Jason survived to adulthood without the help of a crazy, cannibalistic family. In addition, Jason seems to be more adept at tracking his prey.

Last - Leatherface: Gunnar Hansen decided that Leatherface's character would be retarded. Then he proved it with his hysterical grunts and much theatrical flair. This guy couldn't think his way out of a wet paper bag. Then again, who has to when you have a chainsaw??

Category 5: Weapons

Winner - Leatherface: Let's face it, who can argue with an eighty-pound chainsaw? Put it up against any weapon you've seen any of these other characters use. See what I mean?

Runner-up - Freddy Krueger: Is there anything more iconic than Freddy's razor claw? It is as recognizable as Prince's voice, Eddie Van Halen's guitar, and Michael Jackson's, well, nose. Extra points for using it to chop off his own fingers in order to make a point (no pun intended).

Third - Pinhead: Pinhead has the power of Hell on his side, not to mention some super-cool chains with razor-sharp hooks that seemingly shoot from nowhere to immobilize a victim and tear him apart. Pinhead's other weapon--he uses the victims' own desires against them.

Fourth - Jason Voorhees: Jason has used many weapons, and many of them are standard slasher: knives, axes, rods, and what have you. But Jason's signature weapon is the machete and it is far more menacing than Michael's butcher knife.

Last - Michael Myers: Michael has used many different methods to kill, but his main gig is still the butcher knife (just like he used when he was six). Very effective for him, but not nearly as intimidating as the others in this category.


Final Scores

Leatherface: 18 points
Pinhead: 18 points
Freddy: 17 points
Michael Myers: 13 points
Jason Voorhees: 9 points

**So it appears we have a tie. Well, in case of a tie I decided to go with notoriety and controversy of the character at the time their original films were released. Therefore, THE WINNER IS LEATHERFACE.

While I'm sure that there are many out there who disagree, this is how it came out according to my evaluation techniques. Please let me know your own choices or tell me why mine suck.

Peace out.