"Jeepers Creepers" (2001)

“Jeepers Creepers” is, beneath the surface, an oddly brilliant flick. Not because of the storyline (which is shit); the acting (which is horse-shit); the character development (which is non-existent); the clever comments comparing occurring events to those in a horror movie (which are shitty cliches); or, the fucktarded “psychic” that shows up out of nowhere and happens to be able to explain approximately one-tenth of the shit that’s happening. What makes this movie special is the fact that, in spite of being terrible in nearly every other way, it manages to deliver on atmosphere alone. Sure, the Creeper sort of resembles the Creature from the Black Lagoon with wings and a skullet, but his M.O. of performing vivisection on unsuspecting people in order to eat their body parts makes him eerily interesting. Plus, the way he likes to sniff decapitated heads and Justin Long’s dirty laundry is ultra-creepy. The whole “cat lady” sequence is pleasantly disturbing, from our antagonist posing as a scarecrow to him making the crazy old bitch “float” out towards the door. More props for the oddly sewn-together, patchwork corpses and the “cathedral” of human remains that would make Ed Gein and Buffalo Bill proud. Toss in the dodging of a predictable, cop-out ending and you have something that’s more than merely palatable. Big style points for this one, even with the aforementioned flaws. Not a total waste of your time, and better than some of the drivel that’s been passed off as horror in the past few years.

Rating: 3 out of 5 bloody scalpels.

Five Flicks with Excellent Endings (Spoilers)

While a movie may have many memorable moments, it is often the ending that has the most impact on viewers. Maybe it's because that's where the story is supposed to tie together or because it's the last impression left upon us, but it's not uncommon for a flick to be judged mostly for its final frames. Here are five films that wrapped up in truly excellent fashion (spoilers follow!):

5. "The Blair Witch Project" (1999) - Sure, this one had a lot going for it before it even hit theaters. Innovative marketing including a mock-umentary on the legend of the Blair Witch had aficionados drooling for what they thought would be the ultimate in reality media. What the film delivered was about 81 minutes of tension-filled build-up followed by five minutes of stark, raw terror. Who can forget the creepy revelation of the remaining cast reaching the broke down house in the heart of the woods? Or how about Heather finding Mike facing the corner in the basement just before the camera drops? Truly frightening.

4. "The Mist" (2007) - This film is just plain fucking scary. A mysterious storm, a possible government black project, eighty community members trapped in a grocery store while alien-like killer creatures lurk in the gathering fog, an impromptu religious cult uprising among the store's inhabitants. Not quite enough? How about five people deciding their fates with just four bullets in order to avoid a horrific death by the mist's dwellers? Thought so. That's just hardcore.

3. "Frailty" (2001) - Matthew McConaughey stars as the son of a serial killer known as "The God's Hand". McConaughey seeks out an FBI investigator to tell the story of how his father, fueled by religious visions, murdered people he was convinced were demons as God's holy agent on Earth. This one is a tight, edge-of-your-seat thriller where the tension slowly builds throughout the course of the film as the two characters feel one another out and the true nature of the "confession" emerges. This flick embodies creepiness in a dark, moody package.

2. "Saw" (2004) - If you're anything like me, you spent most of the second half of this movie thinking, "If the killer is really 'Zep', this movie fucking sucks!" You then followed this up with "Holy shit!!" as soon as the credits began to roll. Who is Jigsaw?? Not who you think...

1. "The Others" (2001) - In some people's minds, this movie will forever be linked to "The Sixth Sense" due to some similarity in their endings. And that's a shame, because this is the much better flick. Anyone watching this one knows that there are ghosts in the mansion. The piano and the locked/unlocked door alone are proof of that. The mysterious servants, photo albums of dead folks, the darkened interior of the estate, the fog that surrounds the home's grounds--those help to provide 101 minutes of the eeriest moments committed to celluloid. And whose graves are those under the dried leaves on the outskirts of the yard? Well, that's just the icing on the cake.